The Good Old Days | |
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Date Received: Mon, 20 Oct 1997 This from a Washington Post Report from Week 228, in which readers were asked to tell Gen-Xers how much harder they had it in the old days: Second Runner-Up:In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.(Bill Flavin, Alexandria) First Runner-Up:In my day we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.(Russell Beland, Springfield) And the winner of the velour bicentennial poster:In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.(Barry Blyveis, Columbia) Honorable Mentions:In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver Beauty,
my beloved paper clip.
In my day, attitudes were different. For example, women didn't like
sex. At least that is what they told me.
When I was your age, we didn't have fake doggie-do. We only had real
doggie-do, and no one thought it was a damn bit funny.
Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all
excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.
In my day, we didn't have days. There was only time for work, time
for prayer and time for sleep. The sheriff would go around and
tell everyone when to change.
In my day, people could only dream of hitchhiking a ride on a comet.
In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every
day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with
potatoes drenched in melted fat from those animals. And we're all as
strong a AAGGKK-GAAK Urrgh. Thud.
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition
on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying
'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was
sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the damn way to the Silver Spring
station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.
In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen
and oxygen atoms.
In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did.
Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the
sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the
back of a giant tortoise.
In my day, we wore our pants up around our armpits. Monstrous wedgies, but we looked snappy.
Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of gray-haired liberal
80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired liberal 60-year-old guys.
In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian
warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
Copyright 1997 The Washington Post Company [Of course, I have to add my own:
I'll add my own: In my day, we didn't have SAP. We had software applications that didn't require a PHD in methodology or psychology to implement. |
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