I AM A PROGRAMMER!

I have a normal relationship with a person of my preferred gender.
I can speak English; I don't always talk in obscure techno-babble.
I maintain above normal standards of personal hygiene.
I am not a troll: I can stand in the sunlight and not be blinded.
I think that fluorescent light is unnatural, not something to be relished.

Doom is what I face if I laugh at my mother-in-law.
I do not have my favourite role-playing game rules memorized.
I know that regular dice have six sides, and that playing cards come in clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades.

Star Trek is not the only TV show worth watching, and Star Trek conventions are highly over-rated.

C is the third letter of the alphabet, and not just a programming language.
Dbase is what happens if I become a lawyer or politician.
The best way to light a room is with a lamp, not with a 28-inch monitor.
I believe that there is more to life than the Internet.
I can open mail with a letter opener and I have seen mice that are flesh-and-blood.

I think that pagers and cell phones are leashes, not necessities, and my erotic dreams do not feature keyboards!

I am a programmer! (And I am Canadian!)