Pun Dictionary: V-Z Entries

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Vaughan (Toronto): Herbert Vaughan Karajan was a famous conductor of classical music.
Vault (Sports): How a gymnast leaps over a bank: Vault.
Veal (Food): Veal you get on with it?
Vector (Mathematics): He won the race, so they called him the vector.
Veer Away (Book Titles): Avoid that Pedestrian!: Vera Way ^A
Vega (Astronomy): When an astronomy problem is not clear, it is Vega.
Vein (Anatomy): A doctor whose best friend is a mirror is said to be vein.
Veldt (Geography): In shop class we learned how to Veldt metal together.
Venice (Geography): Fred is ten minutes late! Venice he going to show up?
Venus (Astronomy): Venus he coming to get us?
Vera (Names): Jokes on my name are not Vera funny at all.
Verdi (Music): Hold it right there! Verdi you think you're going?
Very Funny (Book Titles): You're a Bundle of Laughs: Vera Funny
Victoria Falls (Geography): What happens when Victoria trips? Victoria Falls.
Victory (Book Titles): Winning the Race: Vic Tree
Vienna (Geography): Vienna you going to finish this Geography test?
Viola Player (Book Titles): String Instruments: Viola Player
Violins (Music): Enraged at their poor playing, the conductor attacked the orchestra members with great violins.
Virtual Reality (Book Titles): New Computer Games: Virgil Reality ^JG
Volta (Geography): You'll get a charge out of rafting the Volta River.
Vostok (Geography): "Miss Voss has a really high, squeaky voice." "Yes, it can sometimes be really painful to hear Miss Vostok."
Waco (Geography): The people in this Texas town are not crazy, just Waco.
Waffle (Food): That's the worst pancake ever made! It's absolutely waffle!
Wales (Geography): The boy cried so much he was called the Prince of Wales.
Walkie-Talkie (Hot Cross Puns): What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
Wall to Wall (Book Titles): Carpet Fitting: Walter Wall ^h
Walnut (Forestry): "You must be crazy to build a wall of wood!" "Of course! I'm a walnut!"
Walnuts (Food): Motto of Psychiatric Institute: "Walnuts around here."
Waltz (Music): What Bugs Bunny says to Strauss. "Waltz up, doc?"
Wanda (Names): "What are you doing?" "I'm not telling!" "I Wanda know what you little monsters are up to!"
War and Peace (Book Titles): Leo Tolstoy: Warren Peace
War is hell (Book Titles): I Hate Fighting: Boris Hell
Warden (Toronto): "When can I get out of jail?" "Ask the Warden."
Warn her Quick (Book Titles): Woman in Danger!: Warner Quick
Warren Berger (US Supreme Court Justice) (Book Titles): Judging Fast Food: Warren Berger ³
Warsaw (Geography): The situation went from badda to Warsaw.
Warship (Military): I love you! I'm crazy about you! I warship the ground you walk on!
Watermelons (Food): Watermelons doing here? I told you I wanted oranges!
Watt (Physics): Watt we need is more power.
Wawa (Geography): From a geographer parent: "Baby want a dwink of Wawa?"
Way to Go (Book Titles): Positive Reinforcement: Wade Ago ^JG
We'll Shake (hands) and Make Up (Book Titles): Promises for Peace: Will Shake and Mae Kupp ^A
Well Read (Expressions): Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
Weather (Meteorology): I've been debating weather or not to be a meteorologist.
Well-Urned (Tom Swifty): "You've stowed his ashes commendably," was Tom's well-earned compliment.
Welland (Geography): The opposite of Sickland is Welland.
Wellesley (Toronto): The opposite of Sickly Street is Wellesley Street.
Werewolf (Jokes): What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine? A wash and wear wolf.
Whale (Tom Swifty): "My giant sea creature died," Tom wailed blubberingly.
Wheel (Cars): "Did you have fun at the stock car races?" "Yep, I had a wheel good time!"
When Did He Do That (Book Titles): That was Quick!: Wendy Dothat ^A
Whiskey (Food): Wum-wunning was always a whiskey business.
Whitehorse (Geography): It wasn't a black stallion, it was a Whitehorse.
Who Are You (Book Titles): Greeting Sheep Strangers: Hugh R. Ewe ^a
Who Cares (Book Titles): Chinese Apathy: Hu Cares
Who Flung Dung (Book Titles): Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
Who Goes There (Book Titles): Midnight Patrol: Hugo Sair ^A
Whore-End (Tom Swifty): "It's Jack the Ripper!" said Tom horrendously.
Why it Works (Book Titles): Engineering Instructor: Wyatt Works ^JG
Why Me (Book Titles): It's Unfair!: Y. Me
Wilderness (Book Titles): Exploring The Dutch Frontier: Will Der Ness ^JG
Will He Make It (Book Titles): Fifty Yards to the Outhouse: Willy Makit and Betty Woant
Will My Money Last (Book Titles): Social Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast ^JG
Willpower (Book Titles): Just Say No: Will Power ^JG
Wilt(ed) Plant (Book Titles): Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant
Windsor (Geography): In a hurricane, the Windsor very strong.
Windy City (Book Titles): Life in Chicago: Wendy City
Winnebago (Book Titles): Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago ^b
Winnipeg (Geography): First prize is a hog! How'd you like to Winnipeg?
Woodbine (Toronto): A good street for purchasing lumber is Woodbine Ave.
Woodstock (Geography): "What could convince you to stock the Amazing Wonder Widget?" "I Woodstock it if I knew it would sell."
Wooly Jumper (sweater) (Hot Cross Puns): What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper. (b)
Worcester (Geography): An example of bad geography grammar: worse, Worcester, worstest.
Would He Come (Book Titles): If I Invited Him...: Woody Kum ³
Wrap (Christmas): M.C. Hammer is a wrap musician.
Wrecks Towed (Book Titles): The Auto Salvage Business: Rex Toad ^JG
Wrist (Anatomy): At the wrist of sounding crazy, I like Anatomy Pun Tests.
Wurst (Food): His jokes about sausages are the wurst I've ever heard!
Wyatt Earp (Book Titles): Gunslingers with Gas: Wyatt Urp
Wyoming (Geography): "I have decided to call the process of writing Geography Puns 'Oming'." "Wyoming? ...Oh, never mind!"
Wyse (Halifax): It is not a Wyse idea to try crossing a bridge without paying the toll!
X (windows) Claimed (Tom Swifty): "I wrote that window system for MIT," Tom exclaimed.
X-Static (Tom Swifty): "I've declared the variable X so that its value is saved from one procedure invocation to the next," said Tom ecstatically.
Xylophone (Book Titles): Wooden Percussion: Cy L'Phone ^A
Yahoo (Book Titles): Cheer for Your Team!: E. A. Hoo
Yalu (Geography): The sun in North Korea is not orange, it's Yalu.
Yam (Food): Popeye quote: "I yam what I am."
Yard (Measures): Give weeds an inch and they'll take a yard.
Yarmouth (Geography): "If you can't say anything nice, keep Yarmouth shut!"
Yellowknife (Geography): "Is that a red knife?" "No, it's a Yellowknife".
Yemen (Geography): Oh come all Yemen to Bethlehem so ye may rejoice.
Yonge (Toronto): "I'm just not as Yonge as I used to be."
York Mills (Toronto): My mills are turning a nice profit. How are York Mills doing?
York (Geography): York kids are d-doing well in speech c-class.
York (Toronto): "When I become Emperor of Toronto, I'll ban sitting!" "York crazy! Nobody will stand for it!"
You Be Quick (Book Titles): Turtle Racing: Eubie Quick
You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too (Expressions): Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
You Can't Keep a Good Man Down (Expressions): A tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary and ate him. He was very tender and tasty, yet they were all violently sick afterwards. It shows that you can't keep a good man down.
You Go First (Book Titles): Parachuting: Hugo First
You Lose (Book Titles): I Win!: U. Lose
You Reek (Tom Swifty): "Eureka!" said Archimedes to the skunk.
You wanna beer (Book Titles): The Friendly Bartender: Juana Beer ^s
You wanna lift (Book Titles): The Hitchhiker: Juan Nalift ^JG
You'll Be Sorry (Book Titles): Playing with the Christmas Fire: Yule B. Sari ^m
Yuan (Money): If you anger a Chinese Mafia boss, he's likely to "put yuan ice."
Yucatan (Geography): If a yucca plant turns brown in the sun, the result could be called a Yucatan.
Yukon (Geography): Fred: "Can I do it?" Ned: "Of course Yukon."
Yul Brynner (Book Titles): Christmas for Baldies: Yule Brynner
Yule (Christmas): If you don't behave yourself, yule get coal in your stocking.
Yuma (Geography): Yuma think that punsters are crazy, but we're not!
Zaire (Geography): "Language in Geography class is filthy!" "Yes, Zaire too much cussing around here too."
Zeta (Greek Letters): Just zeta magic word and poof, you're a genius.
Zinc (Chemistry): What a ship does when it's torpedoed: Zinc.
Zircon (Geology): When Fred Zir was swindled of his jewels, it was called the Great Zircon.

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