Astronaut, Fireman or Sysadmin?

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Date Received: Thu, 20 Nov 1997
From: Meg Schell
Subject: Career choices (fwd)

I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a fireman, or a sysadmin?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were just made to answer:

Purpose Of Your Career

Astronaut: Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
Fireman: Saving lives and property.
Sysadmin: Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.

Advice You'Ll Give Kids Who Want To Follow In Your Footsteps

Astronaut: "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Fireman: "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Sysadmin: "DON'T DO IT! RUN AWAY!"

Question You'Ll Be Most Tired Of Answering

Astronaut: "Where do you go to the bathroom?"
Fireman: "Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
Sysadmin: "Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?"

Will You Ever Be On Tv?

Astronaut: Yes!
Fireman: Occasionally.
Sysadmin: Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as TV.

Will Your Job Ever Get Any Easier?

Astronaut: As computers get more and more advanced and able to control more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
Fireman: As more and more people install smoke detectors in their homes, yes.
Sysadmin: As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet, absolutely not.

Inspiring Movie About Your Profession

Astronaut: "The Right Stuff"
Fireman: "Backdraft"
Sysadmin: Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?

Your Work Hours

Astronaut: Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of time between missions to relax.
Fireman: 24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
Sysadmin: Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like "work millennia."

Fringe Benefits Of Your Job

Astronaut: Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
Fireman: Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
Sysadmin: You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."

Number Of Complaints About Your Profession

Astronaut: A few, from people who think the government should be spending its money in different ways.
Fireman: A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive following a 911 call.
Sysadmin: You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be able to count them all.

Your Vehicle

Astronaut: Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar rocket.
Fireman: Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
Sysadmin: 1978 AMC Gremlin.

In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.

Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?

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