Pun Dictionary: T and U Entries

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Tackle (Sports): Fishing gear used to play football: Tackle.
Tadpole (Book Titles): Little Bitty Froggies: Tad Pole ^JG
Tahiti (Geography): This is not Earl Grey tea, it's Tahiti.
Tahoe (Geography): To weed ta garden, use Tahoe.
Tail or Head (Book Titles): Coin Tossing: Taylor Hedd ^JG
Taint (Misc): A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
Taiwan (Geography): S & M Geography style: Don't tie two knots, just Taiwan.
Tamarack (Forestry): I hang my tams on the tamarack.
Tampa (Geography): It is a crime to Tampa with someone else's computer files.
Tan Your Hide (Book Titles): Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde ^JG
Tangent (Mathematics): A man turned brown in the sun: Tangent.
Tangier (Geography): "Haw! Is that a suntan or did you fall in the mud?" This nasty comment could be called a Tangier.
Tank (Military): Monogrammed grenades, for me? Tank you very much!
Tap (Jokes): What do you give a person with water on the brain? A tap on the head.
Tasmania (Geography): The Geography Pun Test craze that hit the Soviet TASS reporters was called Tasmania.
Tau (Greek Letters): When the Greek driver's car broke down, he called a tau truck.
Taurus (Astronomy): What astronomers call donut-shaped objects: Taurus.
Tee (Sports): Something to drink while golfing: Tee.
Tehran (Geography): "Officer, they smashed the windows, grabbed the jewels and then Tehran off!"
Temperance (Toronto): The best place to be in a downpour is Temperance St., because it is always dry.
Tendon (Anatomy): In order to get problem tendon, you must do problem nine.
Tennessee (Geography): "I play Tennessee, not dangerous sports like badminton."
Tennis Court (Book Titles): Racketeering: Dennis Court
Tennis (Sports): If we can't get twelve or eleven, tennis as good as any.
Tequila (Food): Famous novel by Harper Lee: Tequila Mockingbird.
Teriyaki (Book Titles): Talkative Japanese: Terry Yaki
Terminal (Computers): Cancer can be a terminal illness for hackers.
Terrible (Book Titles): Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull ⁸
Terrycloth (Book Titles): You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth ^JG
Testimony (Book Titles): Trial Law: Tess Temoni ^JG
Texas (Geography): "Why is Tex so grouchy?" "Texas a big headache."
Texture (Book Titles): Sandpapers of the West: Tex Ture ^l
Thailand (Geography): The best country to buy men's neckwear is Thailand.
That Girl (Book Titles): Who is She?: Thad Gurl ^JG
The Awfulest Pun of All (Book Titles): The World's Deadliest Joke: Theophilus Punoval ^JG
The End is Near (Book Titles): The World's Last Days: D. N. Izneer
There is a Green (Book Titles): It's Springtime!: Theresa Green ^JG
Theta (Greek Letters): Can you theta rainbow? Ithn't it pwetty?
Thigh (Anatomy): What a pilot tells an overambitious Date Received: "The thigh is the limit!"
Thingamabob (Book Titles): Whatchamacallit!: Thingum Bob
Thorax (Anatomy): What the god Thor used to cut down trees: Thorax.
Thorold (Geography): "The god Thor is more than 1000 years old." "Boy, is Thorold!"
Throat (Anatomy): "Help! I'm holding a live grenade!" "Well, throat far away!"
Thrown (Jokes): What happens to deposed kings? They get throne away.
Thumb (Anatomy): Thumb uf uth can't thpeak pwoperly.
Tiber (Geography): "We caught Mr. Burr here stealing our Geography texts." "Well, Tiber up until the police get here."
Tibet (Geography): Any wager made that a game will be a draw is a Tibet.
Tide (Astronomy): Explaining the ocean's motion left many astronomers fit to be tide.
Tie Your Own Shoelaces (Book Titles): Do It Yourself: Tyrone Shoelaces ^JG
Tight as a Drum (Book Titles): My Life on Skid Row: Titus A. Drum ^JG
Tigris (Geography): News today is from the zoo's big cat house where a Tigris still at large.
Tijuana (Geography): Mexican bums say "Tijuana give me some money?"
Timber (Book Titles): Falling Trees: Tim Burr
Timbuktoo (Geography): Fred and Tim are two horses. If Fred bucks, will Timbuktoo?
Timor (Geography): "You haven't invited me to tea for a month!" "I really should invite you to Timor often."
Tin (Chemistry): The element that comes after nine: Tin.
Tinsel (Christmas): What decoration does a metal peddler put on a Christmas tree: Tinsel?
Tired (Cars): People are exhausted after being run over because they got tired.
Titan (Astronomy): I don't want NASA to Titan its budget again.
Title (Book Titles): Ah, Thor!: Ty Till ⁷
Titus (Halifax): "Is he sober?" "No, he's Titus a drum."
To Be Continued (Book Titles): Keep them in Suspense: Toby Continued
To Buy us a Pig (Book Titles): Off To Market: Tobias A. Pigg
Toe (Anatomy): "What do you do if an elephant steps on your foot?" "Call a toe truck."
Togo (Geography): "My big toe fell off and now it's lost! Where did my Togo?"
Tolled (Misc): The truth may ring out like a bell, but it is seldom ever tolled.
Tomahawk (Book Titles): Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk ^a
Tommy Gun (Book Titles): Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn ^JG
Tonga (Geography): Doctors in the South Seas use lots of Tonga depressors.
Too Tense (Jokes): "Doctor, doctor! Some days I think I'm a teepee, others I think I'm a wigwam! What do I do?" "Relax, you're two tents."
Too Tired (Misc): A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
Tooth (Anatomy): "That's a lie!" "No, it's the tooth!"
Tooth and Nail (Expressions): The dentist and the manicurist fought tooth and nail.
Topeka (Geography): Topeka someone's test is considered cheating.
Tornado (Meteorology): Which of my deer pictures has he ripped? Oh, no! He's tornado!
Toss in the Towel (Book Titles): A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel ^JG
Toulon (Geography): "Your Citroen will be ready next week." "No, that is Toulon to wait!"
Toulouse (Geography): Go on, take the Geography of France course. What have you got Toulouse?
Towed (Jokes): What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away.
Transcendental Meditation (Misc): Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Transmission (Cars): Do ambulance mechanics wear gloves to prevent the transmission of infections to the engines?
Tree (Christmas): How to count your Christmas presents: "One, two, tree,..."
Tree (Forestry): Sixteen minus thirteen equals tree.
Tripoli (Geography): The cattle ranch with a brand like EEE is the Tripoli Ranch.
Trix Are for Kids (Book Titles): Silly Rabbit: Trixie R. Forkids ^l
Trombone and Oboe (Book Titles): Wind Instruments: Tom Bone and O. Bowe ^y
Trowal (Meteorology): The weatherman puttered in his garden, using his trowal to dig out the weeds.
Truk (Geography): Transporting things on this island comes naturally.
Trunks (Cars): Why is an elephant like a car? They both have trunks.
Tsunami (Book Titles): The Big Wave: Sue Nami ^c
Tuba (Music): Comes in handy when cleaning the teeth: a toothpaste.
Tucson (Geography): When she left the threesome, it became a Tucson .
Tummy Ache (Book Titles): Banquet at McDonalds: Tommy Ayk ^JG
Tungsten (Chemistry): Chemists call ten tongues tungsten.
Tunis (Geography): I don't know how to Tunis piano. I'll get a pro to do it.
TUNS (Halifax): Why is an elephant like a Halifax university? Because both weigh TUNS.
Turin (Geography): One goes here to change direction.
Turkey (Geography): You failed the Geography exam? You Turkey, it was so easy!
Turn (Birds): Motto of the Birdwatcher's Society: One good tern deserves another.
Turnip (Food): How do you find a vegetarian? Ask around, one will turnip.
Tutti-Frutti (Book Titles): The Chuck Berry Story: Judy Frudy ^JG
Tyre (Geography): Middle Eastern city for the big wheels: Tyre.

UCLA (Misc): When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
Uganda (Geography): You dented my car! Uganda get away with this!
Ukraine (Geography): A downpour of ukeleles could only occur in Ukraine.
Ulster (Geography): We can paint the room together. You stir the white paint and Ulster the red paint.
Ulster (Toronto): Let's cook together! You stir the spaghetti and Ulster the sauce.
Umpire (Baseball): The story of a baseball official's addiction to lettuce was called "The Decline and Fall of the Romaine Umpire".
Unfairly (Tom Swifty): "Carnivals are noisy and useless," griped Tom unfairly.
Undercover (Jokes): What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
Under wraps (Jokes): Why do mummies make excellent spies? They're good at keeping things under wraps
Unit (Measurement): What you do if you have yarn and needles: Unit.
University (Toronto): The favourite tea of astronomers who study the cosmos is University.
Unix (Computers): Men who have lost their manhood are Unix.
Up in the Air (Jokes): Why are meteorologists always nervous? Their future is always up in the air.
Uruguay (Geography): "The answer is 45, not 2! Uruguay off!"
Utrecht (Geography): "I walked 10 km to meet you!" "Wow, Utrecht a long way!"

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