Pun Dictionary: A Entries

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A B C (Tom Swifty): "One can't dispute the fundamental importance of learning the alphabet," Abie ceded.
A Band On (Tom Swifty): "I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.
A Bee Stung (Book Titles): Ouch!: A. B. Stung
A Bozo (Book Titles): My Career As A Clown: Abe Ozo ^JG
A brace (of hares) (Tom Swifty): "I caught two hares," said Tom abrasively.
A capella (Book Titles): Singing Without An Orchestra: A. K. Pella ^JG
A cert (brand of candy) (Tom Swifty): "It's not a candy mint, it's a breath mint," Tom asserted.
A Cue ball (Book Titles): Let's Play Billiards: A. Q. Ball ^JG
A cute (Tom Swifty): "I like fuzzy bunnies," gurgled Tom acutely.
A damn ant (Tom Swifty): "I've got another @#$%*! insect in my pants," said Tom adamantly.
A flat minor (Jokes): What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner.
A king (Tom Swifty): "Aye, every inch!" said Lear achingly.
A loo fly (Tom Swifty): "England is okay, except there seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse," said Tom aloofly.
A man to be reckoned with (Book Titles): Dirty Harry is... : Amanda B. Reckondwith^z
A mandolin (Book Titles): Not a Guitar!: Amanda Lin^e
A Meal Ticket (Book Titles): Confessions Of A Gold Digger: Emile Ticket ^JG
A mere pittance (Book Titles): Not Very Expensive: Amir Pittance ^JG
A Mousekateer (Book Titles): My Life With Annette: Amos Kateer ^JG
A net curtain (Book Titles): Pull Yourself Together!: Annette Curtain ^f
A network (Book Titles): Masterpieces Of Fox TV: Annette Work ^JG
A OK (Book Titles): Roger Wilco: A. O. Kaye ^JG
A Serb (Tom Swifty): "I got this ballpoint pen from a Yugoslav friend," said Tom acerbically.
A tent (Tom Swifty): "Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee," said Tom very attentively.
A verse (Tom Swifty): "I don't want to rewrite this in prose," said Tom aversely.
Aachen (Geography): "Do you hurt real bad?" "Yeah, I'm Aachen all over."
Able and willing (Book Titles): I Want to Help: Abel N. Willin^a
Able bodied (Book Titles): Drafted!: Abel Boddeed ^JG
Abnormality (Book Titles): I'm not a Mutant: Abner Mallety ^JG
Abracadabra (Book Titles): Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra ^JG
Absent-minded (Tom Swifty): "The number of people not attending class today really bothers me," said the professor absent-mindedly.
Abstract (art) (Tom Swifty): "I like modern painting," said Tom abstractly.
Abstract (steal) (Tom Swifty): "Now THAT's worth stealing," said Tom abstractly.
Abstract (thesis) (Tom Swifty): "This is the first step towards my thesis," said Tom abstractly.
Abyss (Geography): To oceanographers, things are never bad, they're Abyss-mal.
Abyssinia (Geography): A farewell from a traveller: "Abyssinia later."
AC-DC (Book Titles): Electrical Wiring Made Easy: A. C. Deesey ^JG
Accord (Tom Swifty): "Let's all play an A, a C#, and an E," cried the band with one accord.
Account (Computers): In status, account is between a peasant and a king.
Aching (Book Titles): Dull Pain: A. King^A
Acid (Tom Swifty): "This salad dressing has too much vinegar," said Tom acidly.
Acre (Measures): A geographer in pain is an Acre.
Acton (Geography): One can expect to find an active drama society in Acton.
Acutely (Tom Swifty): "I like fuzzy bunnies," gurgled Tom acutely.
AD Calendar (Book Titles): In Year One: A. D. Calendar ^JG
Ad Nauseum (Book Titles): And so on and so forth: Ed Nauseum ^x
Ad-vice (Tom Swifty): "Those hookers are putting notices in the personals," Tom advised.
Adam-ant (Tom Swifty): "I insist on naming the first male insect," said Tom adamantly.
Adamantly (Tom Swifty): "I insist on naming the first male insect," said Tom adamantly.
Add them up (Book Titles): I Love Mathematics: Adam Up
Address (Misc): With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Adelaide (Geography): "Where did Ada put the book?" "Adelaide the book on the table."
Aden (Geography): He's so dumb that if he tried Aden two and two together, he'd get 22.
Adenoid (Anatomy): A doctor who is irritated by addition is adenoid.
Admit (Tom Swifty): "There's room for one more," Tom admitted.
Advance (Tom Swifty): "Here's your allowance for the next two weeks," Tom advanced.
AEIOU (Book Titles): Vowel Promissory Notes : A. E. I. O'You
AI expert (Book Titles): Robotics Handbook: A. I. Expert ^JG
Air Inside (Book Titles): Why Tires aren't Flat: Erin Side
Air (Meteorology): "To air is human, to forgive, divine."
Airily (Tom Swifty): "By convention!" cussed Tom airily.
Airily (Tom Swifty): "The atmosphere is primarily nitrogen and oxygen," breathed Tom airily.
Airing (Tom Swifty): "I just hung my sheets on the clothesline," said Tom erringly.
A Jar (Jokes): When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Al dente (Book Titles): Cooking Spaghetti: Al Dente
Al Fresco (Book Titles): Outdoor Activities: Alf Resco⁶
Al true (Tom Swifty): "Everything Albert says is so obvious," said Tom altruistically.
Alarm Clock (Hot Cross Puns): What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck.
Alarm (Tom Swifty): "Fire!" yelled Tom alarmingly.
Alarmist (Book Titles): Cry Wolf: Al Armist⁶
Alaska (Geography): Alaska no questions and she'll tell me no lies.
Albatross (Book Titles): Sea Birds: Al Batross⁶
Albequerque (Book Titles): New Mexico Tour Book: Albie Kerky ^JG
Alberta (Geography): "What should we give Albert?" "If we give Alberta pun test, he'll kill us."
Albion (Toronto): "Where are you going?" "Albion the roof putting on new shingles."
Albite (Geology): If we albite rocks, we'll all lose our teeth.
Alert (Geography): One must be Alert to drive a car safely at high speed.
Alfalfa (Food): "Were you able to trick Alf?" "Yes, alfalfa it hook, line and sinker."
Algeria (Geography): When you run the race I'll stand at the side and Algeria on to victory.
Algol (Computers): A programmer's favourite star is Algol.
Alice in Wonderland (Book Titles): Lewis Carroll: Alison Wonderland ^JG
Alice Springs (Geography): Alice may seem dormant now, but when she has a cause, Alice Springs into action.
Alimony (Book Titles): Soak Your Ex-Husband: Ali Money⁶
Alison (Names): "Hey Moe! Where's Al?" "Alison the roof fixing a leak!"
Alkaseltzer (Book Titles): Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer ^JG
All and sundry (Book Titles): And the Other People: Allan Sundry
All right (Jokes): Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.
All my heart (Book Titles): I Love You!: Alma Hart
All my money (Book Titles): I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money ^JG
All of (Jokes): Including Rudolph, how many reindeer does Santa have? Ten: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph and Olive (the Other Reindeer).
All of a Sudden (Book Titles): Without Warning: Oliver Sudden
Allen (Toronto): Allen the Family was a TV sitcom featuring Archie Bunker.
Alligator (Book Titles): Crocodile Dundee: Ali Gator
Allowed (Jokes): Why isn't whispering permitted in class? Because it's not aloud.
Alma Ata (Geography): "What did Alma eat?" "Alma Ata whole pizza all by herself!"
Alma (Geography): The Lac St. Jean (Quebec) region's favourite soap opera is "Alma Children".
Almagest (Book Titles): Funny Astronomy Texts: Alma Jest
Alness (Toronto): Elliot Ness' job seemed simple. Alness had to do was put Al Capone in jail.
Aloud (Tom Swifty): "There's no need for silence," Tom allowed.
Alp (Geography): "Do you need assistance?" "Yes, I need Alp to climb this mountain."
Alpha (Greek Letters): Alpha one and one for all!
Alsace (Geography): "I cannot sass you for even one second?" "No! Alsace is forbidden!
Altair (Astronomy): Where astronomers get married: the Altair.
Aluminum (Chemistry): Aluminum, is a measure of, uh, light intensity.
AM-FM (Book Titles): Morning Radio: A. M. Effem ^JG
Amarillo (Geography): "I'm 84 years old! Amarillo man with a lot to say, so sit down and listen!"
Amazon (Geography): Favourite hymn of Brazil: "Amazon Grace".
Amherst (Geography): You are himst, I Amherst.
Amman (Geography): Geography prof: "I need Amman and a woman to do a report on Jordan."
Ammonia (Chemistry): How can you expect me to do all these problems? Ammonia little boy!
Amp (Tom Swifty): "It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply.
Ampere (Physics): The physicist's favourite Christmas carol is "The Twelve Days of Christmas" because of the partridge in ampere tree.
Amsterdam (Geography): A good city to buy gerbils, mice and guinea pigs is Amsterdam.
Amur (Geography): The French geographer's river of romance is the Amur.
An abortion (Book Titles): Unwanted Babies: Anna Bortion⁸
An archer (Book Titles): I Shoot Arrows: Anne Archer
Anaconda (Book Titles): Snakes of the World: Anna Conda
Analgesic (Book Titles): Pain Relief: Ann L. Gesick⁶
Analog (Book Titles): Modern Tree Watches: Anna Log
Anatolia (Geography): "What did Anna tell me?" "Anatolia to meet her at two o'clock."
Anatomy (Anatomy): "...My Anna lies over the ocean; Oh bring back my anatomy..."
Anchorage (Geography): An Anchorage is a place ships can stop out in the ocean.
Anchovie (Book Titles): I Like Fish: Ann Chovie
Andes (Geography): The classic TV show for mountaineers was Amos and Andes.
Andover (Geography): A task is repetitive if you have to do it over Andover.
Android (Book Titles): Robots: Anne Droid
Angioplasty (Book Titles): The Irish Heart Surgeon: Angie O'Plasty ^JG
Anion (Physics): If you add electrons to a neutral atom, you'll get anion.
Anita (Names): When a woman sits down to a meal, she can be called Anita.
Ankara (Geography): It is generally not a good idea to Ankara boat until the engine is turned off.
Ann Arbor (Geography): A port city will always be found where there is Ann Arbor.
Annam (Geography): When writing the alphabet, one must put Annam after the letter "l".
Annapolis (Geography): "Mommy, what's an apple?" "Annapolis a large, red fruit."
Anne (Names): Where to go bowling with Henry VIII: Anne Boleyn alley.
Annette (Names): A fisherman can catch lots of fish with Annette.
Anonymous (Book Titles): The Unknown Rodent: A. Nonny Mouse
Anorexia (Book Titles): Eating Disorders: Anna Rexia ^JG
Ant on my knee (Book Titles): Bit on the Leg: Anton Marnie^s
Antagonize (Book Titles): How to Annoy: Aunt Agonize
Ante bellum (Book Titles): Life Before The Civil War: Aunty Bellum ^JG
Antelope (Animals): Did your antelope with your uncle before they married?
Anthrax (Book Titles): Animal Illnesses: Ann Thrax³
Anticlimax (Tom Swifty): "Orgasms are overrated," said Tom anticlimactically.
Antifreeze (Cars): What happens to Aunty Marge when she falls in the snow? Antifreeze.
Antigravity (Book Titles): Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity
Antimony (Chemistry): A person in favour of barter is antimony.
Antique (Book Titles): Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good: Ann Teakⁿ
Any more (Book Titles): Is that it?: Annie Moore^A
Anybody home (Book Titles): Home Alone III, The Sequel: Annie Buddyhome ^JG
Apatite (Geology): The mineral that is the very symbol of hunger. Apatite.
Apennine (Geography): "Hey, dude, what's Apennine?"
Apia (Geography): I hate surprise Geography tests. They just Apia out of nowhere.
Apiary (Book Titles): Bee Stings Are in the Hand of the Bee Holder: A. P. Airy ^JG
Apollo (Tom Swifty): "We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights," said the NASA engineer apologetically.
Appeal (Tom Swifty): "Here's the story of the Liberty Bell," Tom told us appealingly.
Appendix (Anatomy): An item frequently found removed from a medical text is the appendix.
Apple-lauding (Tom Swifty): "My compliments to the company that makes the Macintosh computer," said Tom applaudingly.
Apple (Computers): When a programmer's work begins to bear fruit, it's usually an Apple.
Apple (Food): Give a push, get apple.
Appreciate (Tom Swifty): "I'm of greater value to you every day," said Tom appreciatively.
Appropriate (Tom Swifty): "I'll take that," said Tom appropriately.
April Showers (Book Titles): May Flowers: April Showers
Apt (abbrev for apartment) (Tom Swifty): "2 bdrm furn w 5 appl," said Tom aptly.
Aqueous (Tom Swifty): "All right -- we'll use a water solution," Tom acquiesced.
Aragon (Geography): What the Geographer said when he woke up bald. "Aragon!"
Arc (Mathematics): That which Noah built. Arc.
Arch (Golden arches) (Tom Swifty): "I always eat at McDonald's," said Tom archly.
Archives (Jokes): Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.
Archipelago (Book Titles): Where to Find Islands: Archie Pelago
Arctic (Geography): "How can you tell that this ark is a clock?" "I can hear the Arctic."
Ardennes (Geography): As concrete dries, it Ardennes.
Are there any more (Book Titles): The Empty Cookie Jar: Arthur Anymore^u
Argon (Chemistry): "This gun belongs to us!" "Yes, it's argon."
Argument (computer program) (Tom Swifty): "It's an actual parameter, not a formal parameter," was Tom's argument.
Argyll (Geography): We will have to use all our cunning and all Argyll to get around the Scottish tax laws.
Ariel (Astronomy): That road accident made Ariel mess.
Arkansas (Geography): "Arkansas a tree down in ten minutes!" boasted the lumberjack.
Arm and Hammer (Book Titles): Keep it Clean!: Armand Hammer
Armdale (Halifax): "Is it wise to give Dale a gun?" "If we don't Armdale, how can he fight in the war?"
Armenia (Geography): We are the Soviet Maniac Society. Armenia for today is puns.
Armies (Military): Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies.
Arms (Anatomy): "The enemy is coming! To arms! To arms!" "But I already have two arms!"
Arnprior (Geography): "Did you visit Ern before you left?" "Yes, I saw Arnprior to my departure."
Array (Computers): Three cheers for hacking! Hip, hip array!
Arrest (Tom Swifty): "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.
Artery (Anatomy): "This is my tree!" "No way! This is artery!"
Artful (Tom Swifty): "I've had it up to here with Post-Modern Expressionism," said the goat artfully.
Arthritis (Book Titles): Inflammation, Please!: Arthur Itis ^JG
Arthur (Names): This dude writes books: Arthur.
Artichoke (Book Titles): Vegetable Arrangements: Arty Choke^p
Artichoke (Food): If artichoke, apply Heimlich maneuver.
Artificial (Book Titles): It's a Fake!: Artie Fishul ^C
Artistic (Book Titles): Misunderstood: Art Tistic ^JG
Ash (Forestry): This tree remains after a forest fire: Ash
Ashanti (Geography): Ashanti is a crude shack usually found in a slum.
Asia Minor (Book Titles): Turkish Minerals: Asa Miner^l
Asparagus (Food): Asparagus and take me instead! Gus is my best friend!
Aspen (Forestry): A wooden donkey corral is made from aspen.
Ass-nine (Tom Swifty): "One of the ten finalists in the 'London derriere' contest had to drop out," said Tom asininely.
Aswan (Geography): When the Egyptians spoke in unison, they spoke Aswan.
Atikokan (Geography): An empty can of Coca-Cola in an attic is an Atikokan.
Atlas (Geography): There you are! Atlas I have found you!
Atolls (Geography): "For Whom the Bell Atolls", a novel by Ernest Hemingway.
Atom bomb (Book Titles): Nuclear Explosives: Adam Baum^o
Atomic (Physics): Billy was sent home from Physics class with atomic ache.
Aunt Eater (Jokes): Never give your uncle an anteater.
Author (Tom Swifty): "I wrote the book on that subject," said Tom authoritatively.
Automatic (Book Titles): The Industrial Revolution: Otto Mattick
Automatic (Tom Swifty): "Don't give me the gears!" said Tom automatically.
Avalon (Geography): We may have come a long way, but we still Avalon way to go.
Ave her (Have her) (Tom Swifty): "She's mine," averred the Cockney chauvinist.
Aviary (Book Titles): Bird Brains: A. V. Airy ^JG
Avid (relating to ants?) (Tom Swifty): "What do ants and bees use for cattle?" asked Tom avidly.
Awk (Unix text utility) (Tom Swifty): "{sum += $2} END {print sum}," said Tom awkwardly.
Axe sent (Tom Swifty): "The executioner has received the tool he needs," said Tom with a heavy accent.
Axiom (Mathematics): What one does to trees that are in the way: Axiom
Axle grease (Book Titles): Car Repairs: Axel Grease ^JG
Aylmer (Geography): A nemesis of Bugs Bunny was Aylmer Fudd, the hunter.
Ayr (Geography): To Ayr is human, to forgive (especially punsters) divine.
Azov (Geography): "Because you students have been getting bad grades, Azov now you will be getting more homework!"

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