Pun Dictionary: B Entries

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BA degree (Book Titles): Good for a Placemat: B. A. Degree ^JG
Baa baa black sheep (Book Titles): Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep ^JG
Babe Ruth (Hot Cross Puns): What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
Baboon (Book Titles): Monkey Shines: Bob Boone
Babylon (Geography): "The Geography prof is a real windbag." "Yes, he really likes to Babylon."
Babylon (Tom Swifty): "That city will NEVER be rebuilt," the prophets babble on.
Baby Buggy (Jokes): What is a newly hatched beetle? A baby buggy.
Back (Anatomy): "Put that book back! It doesn't belong to you!"
Badminton (Sports): That mint is spoiled? Well, go put that badminton the trash.
Bagel (Jokes): If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A bagel.
Baghdad (Geography): "Ask your father what he brought home from the store." "What's in the Baghdad?"
Bahrain (Geography): What the campers say when the weather gets wet. "Bahrain!"
Baht (Money): We went to Thailand for a vacation and baht a lot of ties.
Baikal (Geography): "What shall we get Cal for Christmas?" "Let's Baikal an atlas."
Bail (remove water) (Tom Swifty): "This boat leaks," said Tom balefully.
Bail (to get out of jail) (Tom Swifty): "I'll get you out of prison in no time," said Tom balefully.
Baited (Tom Swifty): "I just swallowed a fishing lure," said Tom with baited breath.
Bakersfield (Geography): After the Great Open-Air Baking Competition, the meadow became known as the Bakersfield.
Bald (Tom Swifty): "I'm going to get a hair transplant," said Tom baldly.
Ball (Baseball): A fancy-dress dance for the players is called a ball.
Ball (Tom Swifty): "Take me to the dance," Mary bawled.
Baltic (Geography): "That ball is a clock!" "Yes, I hear the Baltic too."
Bambi (Hot Cross Puns): What do you get when you cross a fawn with a hornet? Bambee.
Bamboo (Jokes): What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
Bang (name for exclamation mark) (Tom Swifty): "!" said Tom while banging his head.
Bangor (Geography): "I refuse to allow slasher movies in my town!" "You mean you'll Bangor?"
Banks (Jokes): Why are rivers always rich? Because they have two banks.
Banjul (Geography): From a Geography song: "...I've come from Alabama with my Banjul on my knee."
Bar Bare (Tom Swifty): "Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude," said Tom barbarically.
Barbecue (Book Titles): Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue ^JG
Barbed wire (Book Titles): Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer ^JG
Barber (Tom Swifty): "Boy, will I give YOU a haircut!" said Tom barbarously.
Barium (Chemistry): When a Chemistry prof dies, we have a funeral, then barium.
Bark (Forestry): Don't worry about the foresters. Their bark is worse than their bite.
Barley (Food): The grain farmer has to get up barley in the morning.
Baroque (Music): When a musician has no money, he/she is Baroque.
Barrie (Geography): Let us make peace, Barrie the hatchet and get on with life.
Barry (Book Titles): Drink this before the X-Ray, by Barry Um.
Barry (Names): A good name for a gravedigger: Barry.
Bartender (Book Titles): Guide To Mixology: Bart Ender ^JG
Bartok (Music): Conversation heard in a saloon: Bartok.
Baseball (Sports): When Billy struck out, he cried, so the sport was called basebawl
Basel (Geography): This city has a lot of men named Herb. Basel
Bash (a Unix shell) (Tom Swifty): "I use the Bourne Again Shell," said Tom bashfully.
Basic (programming language) (Tom Swifty): "This is the most common language used on micros," said Tom basically.
Basic (Chemistry): Studying the pH of solutions is a basic part of chemistry.
Bataan (Geography): "Janet hit .675 in baseball today!" "That's a high Bataan average."
Bath (Geography): Here, everything comes out in the wash: Bath.
Bats (Jokes): Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away.
Batter (Baseball): To make baseball cookies, small pieces of batter are put in the oven to bake.
Battery (Cars): She hit me with an Eveready, so I charged her with assault with battery.
Bay (Geography): "Your dog is noisy at night." "Yes, he likes to Bay at the moon."
Bayers (Halifax): Fairytale popular in the Halifax area: Goldilocks and the Three Bayers.
Bayonet (Military): A painting of the Bey of Tunis sitting on a cashew was called "bayonet".
Bayou (Geography): Geographer bar talk: "Hello handsome. Let me bayou a drink."
BB gun (Book Titles): Who Killed Cock Robin: B. B. Gunn ^JG
Be a beeman (Book Titles): How to Make Honey: B. A. Beaman ^p
Be extravagant (Book Titles): How to Go Broke Fast: B. X. Travagant ^JG
Be leaving (Tom Swifty): "Get out of here!" said Tom believingly.
Be on time (Book Titles): Not a Moment to Spare: B. N. Time ^JG
Beaker (Chemistry): Motto of land developer: beaker is better.
Bean (Food): An ex-vegetarian can be described as a has-bean.
Bear (Animals): All of these puns are getting hard to bear.
Bears (Sports): The most unclothed football team: Bears.
Beaverton (Geography): What do you call 2000 pounds of beavers? A Beaverton.
Bee Gee singers (Book Titles): The Disco Craze: B. G. Singers ^JG
Bee grudge (Tom Swifty): "Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge," said Tom begrudgingly.
Bee late (Tom Swifty): "This flower's empty," the drone said belatedly.
Bee-guile (Tom Swifty): "I'm sure we can fool them into thinking this is pollen," said Tom beguilingly.
Beech (Forestry): A mid-Sixties teen movie was called Beech Blanket Bingo.
Beef (complain) jerky (Tom Swifty): "This meat is hard to chew," Tom beefed jerkily.
Beef (Food): "I want to complain about this meat!" "Okay, what's your beef?"
Beet root (Book Titles): Red Vegetables: B. Troot⁶
Beet (Food): My salad just can't be beet.
Behave (Book Titles): Kindergarten Kop II: Bea Hayve ^JG
Behind (Misc): Did you hear what happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
Beirut (Geography): That which keeps the bay plant from blowing away: Beirut.
Belch (Tom Swifty): "I am NOT full of hot air," Tom belched.
Belfast (Geography): "Bill wants the report now!" "OK, I'll get it to Belfast."
Bell in the water (Book Titles): Ringing Wet: Belinda Water^A
Bellows (for fire) (Tom Swifty): "The fire's going out!" Tom bellowed.
Beneficiary (Book Titles): I Love Wills: Benny Fishery
Benevolent (Book Titles): Good Works: Ben Evolent⁶
Benin (Geography): I have Benin Africa for quite a while.
Benzene (Chemistry): "I want to report Ben as a missing person." "OK, where was benzene last?"
Bering (Geography): He looked at the map to get a Bering on his direction.
Bern (Geography): The city with the history of inflammatory speeches: Bern.
Berry (Food): The famous fruit farmer turned musician: Berry Manilow.
Berth above (Book Titles): The Pullman Sleeper: Bertha Buv ^JG
Best wishes (Book Titles): Lotsa Luck: Bess Twishes ^JG
Beta (Greek Letters): These jokes don't get any beta.
Betelgeuse (Astronomy): The drink made from crushed insects: Betelgeuse.
Betty (Names): "I bet Joe will propose to her tonight." "I Betty will too."
Bhutan (Geography): When a boot turns brown in the sun, it has a Bhutan.
Bic (pen) (Tom Swifty): "Why shouldn't I stir my yogurt with a ballpoint pen?" Tom bickered.
Biceps (Anatomy): "Mr. Sepps is thirsty!" "Well, biceps a drink!"
Bight (Geography): The oceanographer's bark is worse than his bight.
Bill (Names): This guy gets put through mail slots: Bill.
Billboard (Book Titles): Uninteresting Road Signs: Bill Bored
Billfold (wallet) (Book Titles): Where to Put Your Money: Bill Fold ^k
Billiard Ball (Hot Cross Puns): What do you get when you cross Telly Sevalas with a pool table? A billiard bald.
Billings (Geography): This town is known as the "Invoice Capital of the U.S.A.": Billings
Billionare (Book Titles): Rich People: Belle Yenere ⁱ
Bills to Pay (Jokes): "Have you got bills to pay? If you do, please give it back. He looks silly bald." (Laugh-In)
Bismark (Geography): The grade of a school of business administration is a Bismark.
Bismuth (Chemistry): In spite of the bank robbery, it was bismuth as usual.
Bison (Animals): "You've run out of buffalo steaks? Go out and bison, then!"
Biting (Tom Swifty): "I hate computers!" exclaimed Tom bytingly.
Bitter (Tom Swifty): "This apple is sour!" said Tom bitterly.
Bladder (Anatomy): Grammatically incorrect sequence: bad, bladder, baddest.
Blank Stair (Tom Swifty): "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.
Blank (Tom Swifty): " ," said Tom blankly.
Blank (Tom Swifty): "Those bullets can't hurt me," said Tom blankly.
Blazers (Clothing): Firefighters prefer to wear blazers.
Bleachers (Baseball): Fans who make their hair unnaturally blonde are bleachers.
Block (Cars): A mechanic's idea of exercise is jogging around the (engine) block.
Blood Bank (Jokes): Where did the vampire open his savings account? At the blood bank.
Bloor (Toronto): As the sun rises, the sky gets Bloor; as it sets, the sky gets blacker.
Blouse (Clothing): Tailor's lullaby: "...When the wind blouse, the cradle will rock..."
BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato) (Book Titles): Golfer's Sandwich: B. L. Tee ^JG
Blues (Hockey): The favourite colours of this hockey team are turquoise, aquamarine and navy, because they're Blues.
Blunt (Tom Swifty): "I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.
BO (Body odour) (Book Titles): Why Do People Avoid Me?: B. O. Problem ^JG
Bob for apples (Book Titles): Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples ^JG
Bob (Names): What to call a fellow who floats in the water: Bob.
Bobby sox (Book Titles): Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie Sox ^JG
Boise (Geography): Me and the Boise went out for a beer.
Bold (Tom Swifty): "I think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly.
Bolivia (Geography): You're such a liar, that even if you told the truth, nobody would Bolivia.
Bomber (Military): A mortician with an explosive personality is an em-bomber.
Bond (Chemistry): Many people wish for the day when a chemist's word was his bond.
Bond (Money): Britain's secret agent of finance is James Bond.
Boom (Tom Swifty): "My fellow Americans," boomed Ronald Reagan, "I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever..."
Bore (Tom Swifty): "I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
Boring (Book Titles): My Boring Career: A. Driller^p
Bosnia (Geography): "Does the Bosnia Tylenol?" "Yes, the boss has a big headache after that meeting."
Bosporous (Geography): During "Role Reversal Day", the boss can be ordered around. For example: "Bosporous all a cup of coffee."
Boulder (Geography): When Jack met Jill, he Boulder over with his charm and wit.
Bounty (Mutiny on the) (Tom Swifty): "This is mutiny!" said Tom bountifully.
Bow and arrow (Book Titles): Archery: Beau N. Arrow^b
Bowled (Sports): He was so startled by his spare that he was bowled over.
Boy Ant (Tom Swifty): "That young insect is male," said Tom buoyantly.
Boyle (Physics): The best way to evaporate water is to Boyle it.
Bragg (Fort) (Tom Swifty): "My ancestor was a famous Confederate general who had an army fort named after him," Tom bragged.
Brain (Anatomy): Why are noisy donkeys smart? Because of their great brain.
Branches (Forestry): The Tree Bank has many branches to serve you.
Branding Irons (Book Titles): The Last Roundup: Brandon Irons ^JG
Brave (Native American) (Tom Swifty): "I ain't afraid of those white men," said Cochise bravely.
Brazil (Geography): You have a sick brassiere? Yes, my Brazil.
Break (Cars): "Sorry, no discounts on repairs!" "Aw, gimme a break!"
Breakdown (Cars): That car has a high-strung disposition. It might have a nervous breakdown if mistreated.
Breathless (Tom Swifty): "Now no-one can detect my halitosis," said Tom breathlessly.
Brest (Geography): It is difficult to keep a-Brest of all the new developments in Geography.
Bridle (Tom Swifty): "Nay!" Tom bridled hoarsely.
Brie fly (Tom Swifty): "There's a blood-sucking insect in my French cheese," said Tom briefly.
Bright (Tom Swifty): "Eating uranium can cause strange effects," said Tom brightly.
Bright (Tom Swifty): "Many hands make light work," said Tom brightly.
Brightly (Tom Swifty): "Many hands make light work," said Tom brightly.
Brisk (brand of iced tea) (Tom Swifty): "Take tea and see," said Tom briskly.
Bristle (Tom Swifty): "Use your own hair brush," Tom bristled.
Broke it Off (Expressions): She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
Broke Into (Misc): He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Brook (Geography): The jealous geography prof would brook no rivals.
Browns (Football): If musicians sing the blues, couch potatoes must sing the Browns.
Bruins (Hockey): This hockey team is perpetually in a shambles: Bruins.
Brush (Tom Swifty): "Get out of my hair," was Tom's brush-off.
Brussels Sprout (Book Titles): Small Vegetables: Russell Sprout ^JG
Brussels (Geography): "That map of Belgium belongs to Russel?" "Yes, it's Brussels map."
Buccaneers (Football): To raise money for the team, its players sell corn for $1 an ear, hence the team name Buccaneers.
Bucharest (Geography): Reading an illegal book can lead to the so-called "Bucharest" by the Thought Police.
Budapest (Geography): "Budapest? Not at all! He's the nicest guy I know!"
Buddy System (Book Titles): Prevent Drowning: Buddy System ^JG
Budget (Misc): You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Budweiser beer (Book Titles): Smart Beer Making: Bud Wiser
Buffet Dinner (Book Titles): The Smorgasbord: Buffy Dinner ^JG
Bug (Geography): This river is known for its variety of insects: Bug.
Bugs (Jokes): What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
Build your own (Book Titles): House Construction: Bill Jerome Holme ⁶
Building (Book Titles): Houses, Offices, and Apartments: Bill Ding
Bull (market) (Tom Swifty): "The stock market's going up," said Tom bullishly.
Bullet (Military): If you can't push it, you must bullet.
Bumper (Cars): She wouldn't get out of the way, so I had to bumper to let her know I wanted in.
Burbank (Geography): The 'Burbs Savings and Loan Company is located in Burbank.
Burma (Geography): To Burma house down on purpose is considered a crime.
Burnaby (Geography): "I like to burn wasp nests!" "You must be from Burnaby."
Burton (Names): I never want to be a Burton on society.
Bury them (Book Titles): We Won 20-1!: Barry Um ^JG
Bus (computer) (Tom Swifty): "We don't have room for any more peripherals," said Tom bus-ily.
Bushel (Measures): The unit of shrub volume should be the bushel.
Bust (female) (Tom Swifty): "You're busted!" said the policeman to Miss Parton.
Buster Crabbe (actor) (Book Titles): Smash His Lobster!: Buster Crabbe
Butter Fly (Jokes): Why did Silly Billy throw butter out a window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
Buzz cut (Book Titles): Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt ^JG
Byte (Computers): The computer cannibal chops his programs into byte-size pieces.
Byte (Tom Swifty): "These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8," said Tom bitingly.

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