Pun Dictionary: D Entries

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Da Video Recorder (Book Titles)
Tape Another Channel: David E. O. Recorder A
DA's (District Attorney) Office (Book Titles)
Perry Mason's Last Case: D. A. Zoffuss JG
Dakar (Geography)
I want to drive Dakar to work today.
Dakota (Geography)
"Do you want me to wash your jacket?" "Yes, give Dakota good cleaning, please."
Damn (Jokes)
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam!"
Damn (Tom Swifty)
"I'm too smart to believe in Jesus Christ," said Tom with damnable cleverness.
Damning with Faint Praise (Tom Swifty)
"That hydroelectric facility is so beautiful I think I'll pass out!" said Tom, fainting with dam praise.
Dandruff (Book Titles)
We're All Flakes: Dan Druff JG
Danforth (Toronto)
The son of Dan III and grandson of Dan II was called Danforth.
Danzig (Geography)
A Cole Porter favourite of geographers is "Danzig in the Dark".
Daring (Book Titles)
Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue JG
Dark (Tom Swifty)
"The eclipse is starting," said Tom darkly.
Dark (Tom Swifty)
"The lights have gone out," said Tom darkly.
Darling (Geography)
The Australian river of love is the Darling.
Davis Cup (Book Titles)
Great Tennis Matches: Davis Skupp JG
Dawn (Names)
When she stepped on the riverboat's scales, a smart-alec sang "Weigh Dawn upon the Swannee River..."
Dawson City (Geography)
If Dawson City'd do it then he will; his word is as good as gold
Days are Numbered (Expressions)
Every calendar's days are numbered.
DDT (Book Titles)
Banned Pesticides: Dee-Dee Tee
De Deuce (Tom Swifty)
"It's time to play my wild card," Tom deduced.
De-Bait (Tom Swifty)
"I wonder if I'd have better luck if I fished with a net," Tom debated.
De-creed (Tom Swifty)
"Adherents of my religion don't all have to believe the same thing," Tom decreed.
De-feet (Tom Swifty)
"Now I'll NEVER dance," said Tom defeatedly.
De-feet (Tom Swifty)
"They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
De-fence (Tom Swifty)
"Sure, I'll get rid of those jewels for you," said Tom defensively.
De-fur (Tom Swifty)
"Okay, you can have the gloves without lining," Tom deferred.
De-Grade (Tom Swifty)
"You are going to fail my class," said the teacher degradingly.
De-Lewd (Tom Swifty)
"The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show," said Tom deludedly.
De-Liberate (Tom Swifty)
"I think all those feminists should be forced to work as housewives," said Tom deliberately.
De-Light (Tom Swifty)
"Oh, goody! Another blackout!" said Tom delightedly.
De-Liver (Tom Swifty)
"Welcome to the Annual Meatcutter's Convention!" delivered Tom.
De-Myrrh (Tom Swifty)
"Wouldn't just gold and frankincense do?" the Magi demurred.
De-Nile (Tom Swifty)
"I CAN'T be drowning in African waters!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
De-phi (Tom Swifty)
"I still think we should differentiate the magnetic flux," said Tom defiantly.
De-Rice (Tom Swifty)
"No pilaf for me, please," said Tom derisively. (Or: "Get off my lap," said Gary Hart derisively.)
De-Ride (Tom Swifty)
"Get off the horse," Tom derided Mary.
De-Scribe (Tom Swifty)
"This is how he murdered the mystery writer," Tom described.
De-Script (Tom Swifty)
"Let me improvise this part," said Tom descriptively.
De-Seat (Tom Swifty)
"Let's play musical chairs," said Tom deceitfully.
De-See (Tom Swifty)
"What's wrong with a few tea leaves?" asked Tom deceivingly.
De-septive (Tom Swifty)
"Let me clean out this poison tank," said Tom deceptively.
De-Spare (Tom Swifty)
"I haven't put air in my fifth tire," said Tom despairingly.
De-Spare (Tom Swifty)
"I will never get the hang of bowling!" wailed Tom despairingly.
De-Vote (Tom Swifty)
"I saw that man remove my ballot from the box," said Tom devotedly.
Dead Giveaway (Misc)
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
Dead Pan (Tom Swifty)
"I killed the Greek piper god," Tom deadpanned.
Deadly (Book Titles)
Poisonous Plants: Dudley Nightshade JG
Debugger (Book Titles)
Fixing Computer Programs: Dee Bugger JG
Deca (10) Dent (Tom Swifty)
"How many dings you got in your door, there, Tom?" "Ten," Tom replied decadently.
Decagon (Mathematics)
What the Captain said when his boat was bombed: Decagon!
Decay (Book Titles)
Garlic Gone Bad: D. K. Stinky
Deceased (Book Titles)
The Realm of the Dead: Dee Seized C
December (Book Titles)
The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember JG
Decide (Book Titles)
Make Up Your Mind: Dee Side A
Deciduous? (Tom Swifty)
"Well, that tree definitely isn't a conifer," Tom decided.
Declare (a program's variable) (Tom Swifty)
"X is an integer," Tom declared.
Declare (Tom Swifty)
"I'm not going to eat any more of those pastries," Tom de-eclaired.
Declension (Tom Swifty)
"I've already given you the nominative, vocative, accusative, genitive, dative, and ablative, so I will say no more," Tom declined.
Dee (Geography)
This Scottish river is letter-perfect: Dee.
Deep And (Jokes)
What is Good King Wenceslas' favourite type of pizza? Deep-pan, crisp and even.
Deer (Animals)
This stuffed animal is very deer to me.
Defeat (Misc)
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Defence (Hockey)
We had to put up defence to keep da kids out of our yard.
Defence (Tom Swifty)
"I have to attend my PhD oral examination," said Tom defensively.
Defense (de fumer) (Tom Swifty)
"I refuse to obey that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.
Defensive (Tom Swifty)
"But I thought forts were a good idea," whined Tom defensively.
Degree (Tom Swifty)
"I have a B.A. in social work," said Tom with a degree of concern.
Deimos (Astronomy)
This has to be Deimos boring astronomy lecture yet.
Delaware (Geography)
"Mr. Dell does not know of that either." "Is Delaware of anything anymore?"
Delhi (Geography)
This city might be a good place to find cheese and cold cuts: Delhi.
Deli-Cut (Tom Swifty)
"People who sell fancy foods should be careful with knives," said Tom delicately.
Delta (Greek Letters)
"A Jack, two, six, eight and ten! You Delta lousy poker hand to me!"
Demon-Straight (jacket) (Tom Swifty)
"This is how to put an imp in a restraining jacket," Tom demonstrated.
Demonstrative (Tom Swifty)
"This, that, these, those, and such," said Tom demonstratively.
Denmark (Geography)
First mark all these Geography tests, Denmark the labs.
Depress (Tom Swifty)
"I have to insert this wooden spatula in your mouth," said Tom depressingly.
Derry (Geography)
This Irish city has the best milk, cheese and butter: Derry.
Des-Pair (Tom Swifty)
"I've only got two of a kind," said Tom despairingly.
Desert (Geography)
The evil Geography department head was overthrown and exiled to the Sahara. It was considered his just Desert.
Despairingly (Tom Swifty)
"I've only got two of a kind," said Tom despairingly.
Dessert (Food)
"My cake ran away!" "Funny, why would it want to dessert you?"
Determine (Tom Swifty)
"It's best to find a new word for this," Tom determined.
Developed (Misc)
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Dew (Meteorology)
I hate water condensation problems! I never know what to dew.
Dialect (Tom Swifty)
"British English, of course," Di elected to say.
Diamonds (Baseball)
Marilyn Monroe on baseball: "Diamonds are a girl's best friend."
Diapers (Book Titles)
Baby Mess-Trappers: Di Perrs A
Dictate (Tom Swifty)
"My word is final!" Tom dictated to his secretary.
Dictator (Book Titles)
Tyrant of the Potatoes: Dick Tater
Dictionary (Book Titles)
Webster's Words: Dick Shunnary 3
Did a number on it (Expressions)
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
Die (Misc)
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Dim Sum (Jokes)
Addition in a dark Chinese restaurant is "dim sum".
Dinar (Money)
A person eating at a restaurant is called a dinar.
Diploma (Tom Swifty)
"Of course you graduated," said Tom diplomatically.
Diplomatic Immunity (Jokes)
Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity.
Dis-Appoint (Tom Swifty)
"I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
Dis-Arm (Tom Swifty)
"All I want is 20,000 machine guns," said the dictator disarmingly.
Dis-Array (Tom Swifty)
"DIS[1], DIS[2], ... DIS[n] (n > 2)," Tom said in total disarray.
Dis-Concert (Tom Swifty)
"I'll not have you punk rockers making music in MY auditorium," said Tom disconcertingly.
Dis-Console (Tom Swifty)
"Someone stole my computer terminal," said Tom disconsolately.
Dis-Consulate (Tom Swifty)
"Let me out of this embassy," said Tom disconsolately.
Dis-Cord (Tom Swifty)
"I'm a frayed knot," said Tom discordantly.
Dis-Cover (Tom Swifty)
"And dat bay is not green," Tom discovered.
Dis-Cussed (Tom Swifty)
"Dat is not duh @#$%*! way to do it," Tom discussed.
Disbarred (Jokes)
What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred.
Dis-Gust (Tom Swifty)
"Boy, that sure took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
Dis-Joint (Tom Swifty)
"I have to wear this cast for another six weeks," said Tom disjointedly.
Dis-May (Tom Swifty)
"Oh no, it'll soon be June," Tom said in dismay.
Dis-Miss (Tom Swifty)
"That's the woman!" Tom said dismissively.
Dis-Organ (Tom Swifty)
"I just got a sex change," said Tom, feeling rather disorganized.
Dis-Orient (Tom Swifty)
"I just got kicked out of China!" said Tom, rather disoriented.
Dis-Quiet (Tom Swifty)
"Turn the record player down," said Tom disquietingly.
Dis-Stain (Tom Swifty)
"Out, out, damned spot!" said Lady Macbeth distainfully. "Look what you did to the rug, you naughty dog!"
Dis-Stress (Tom Swifty)
"I'm tearing my hair out over this problem," said Tom distressingly.
Dis-Tract (Tom Swifty)
"Quick! Hide all the religious pamphlets!" said Tom distractingly.
Disc-Closed (Tom Swifty)
"There are no more I/O operations to do today," Tom disclosed. (Or: "This slipped object is hard to find," the surgeon disclosed.)
Discus (Sports)
To talk about something in depth: Discus.
Dive-vulge (Tom Swifty)
"I need a Latin Bible suitable for reading under water," Tom divulged.
DOA (Book Titles)
Didn't Make it to the Hospital: D. O. Way
Dodge City (Geography)
It's very hard to hit people in Dodge City.
Dogged (Tom Swifty)
"I've got to reach Kenilworth tonight," said Tom, trotting doggedly onward.
Dogged (Tom Swifty)
"Well I'll be an S.O.B.!" said Tom doggedly.
Dogmatic (Tom Swifty)
"Female canines often scratch the parasites on the coats of their young," said Tom dogmatically.
Dole (Tom Swifty)
"I'm on welfare," said Tom dolefully.
Dollar (Money)
"Are his financial senses getting sharper?" "No, they're getting dollar."
Dolphins (Football)
Sailors watch this team while at sea to bring luck: Dolphins.
Don (Geography)
This Russian river is the place to be at sunrise: Don.
Don Mills (Toronto)
Tom mills barley, but Don Mills wheat.
Don't yell (Book Titles)
Shhh!: Danielle Soloud JG
Don't Count your Chickens Before They're Hatched (Expression)
Once, long ago, a king summoned all his provincial rulers to his castle. He was in a rather belligerent mood, and wanted to scare them into giving him extra taxes. Unknown to him, they met in secret on the way, and decided that they should agree to pay the extra, but they would at first pretend to refuse, so they could try to bargain down the actual amount extra they would have to pay.

They arrived at the king's castle, and gathered in the audience chamber. The king made his demands, and as agreed, they started to refuse. Unfortunately, they hadn't realized just how belligerent the king's mood was: as soon as they started to refuse, he got angry, and ordered his guards to kill them on the spot.

More than half of them were slain before they even realized what was happening, and the others had to do some very quick groveling to survive. After everything had settled down, those who remained explained to the king their plan, and the king was filled with remorse for his hasty actions.

The moral of the story? Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.

Donlands (Toronto)
I have a cat named Don. Donlands on his feet when he falls.
Donnybrook (Book Titles)
Fistfights: Donny Brooke JG
Doobie (Tom Swifty)
"I wonder what syllables I should sing these sixteenth notes to," said Ward Swingle dubiously.
Door is Open (Book Titles)
Come on in!: Doris Open
Door (Cars)
You unlocked the car for me! You're a-door-able!
Doug (Names)
This man worked all his life in the mines: Doug.
Dover (Geography)
"I dropped my Geography textbook!" "Well, bend Dover and pick it up!"
Down (Jokes)
What grows up while growing down? A goose.
Down-Cast (Tom Swifty)
"I dropped my brace over the balcony," said Tom downcastly.
Drain Pipe (Book Titles)
Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe JG
Drained Right Out (Book Titles)
Where's the Water?: Dwayne Dwight Out
Dramatic (Tom Swifty)
"All actors must die!" proclaimed Tom dramatically.
Dramatically (Tom Swifty)
"All actors must die!" proclaimed Tom dramatically.
Drew Blood (Book Titles)
En Garde!: Drew Blood JG
Drew (Names)
Before he died, Drew was a good artist.
Dribble (Tom Swifty)
"I'm pretty good at basketball," said Tom, dribbling.
Drive (Cars)
A golfer who can't drive can't get to the golf course, let alone play the game well.
Drive-In Theatre (Hot Cross Puns)
What do you get when you cross a movie with a swimming pool? A dive-in theater.
Drone (male bee) (Tom Swifty)
"All I ever do is work," Tom droned.
Drum (Music)
Advertising the concert is a good way to drum up business.
Dry (Tom Swifty)
"There's too much vermouth in my martini," said Tom dryly.
Dryden (Geography)
All other things being equal, a bear prefers a Dryden to a wet den.
Dryly (Tom Swifty)
"I like deserts," said Tom dryly.
Dryly (Tom Swifty)
"I never go into saloons," said Tom dryly. "I've seen too many of my friends enter them optimistically and leave them mistyoptically."
Dubai (Geography)
"Should I get a new atlas?" "Oh yes, Dubai one. Yours is 20 years old!"
Doubling (Geography)
The Irish economy should always be in good shape, since its capital is always Dublin.
Duck (Tom Swifty)
"Look out for that bird!" cried Tom, ducking.
Dufferin (Toronto)
"Where should I put the fur of these duffs?" "Put the Dufferin the box so that nobody will steal it."
Dug Graves (Book Titles)
Life Six Feet Under: Doug Graves JG
Dumb-Founded (Tom Swifty)
"Why would anyone want to start an Institute for the Mute?" asked Tom dumbfoundedly.
Duncan (Geography)
The act of dipping a doughnut into one's coffee is defined by geographers as Duncan.
Dundas (Toronto)
"Ask Mr. Das if he's finished yet." "Are you Dundas?"
Dundee (Geography)
"Ask Dee if she's finished." "Are you Dundee?"
Dunedin (Geography)
After finishing a meal, a geographer says "I'm Dunedin."
Dunkin Doughnuts (Book Titles)
I Like Coffee: Duncan Doughnuts
Durban (Geography)
Sikh men are required by their religion to wear a Durban on their heads.
Dust and Cook (Book Titles)
Housework: Dustin Cook n
Dusty Roads (Book Titles)
Highway Travel: Dusty Rhodes
Duty (Tom Swifty)
"I'll pay off that customs official," said Tom dutifully.
Dwayne (Names)
The sink is clogged! Quick, call Dwayne the plumber!
Dyne (Physics)
"Would you like to have dinner with us?" "Yes, I'd be happy to dyne with you."
Dyne (Tom Swifty)
"Why use SI units? The old c.g.s. units are my friends," said Tom dynamically.

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