Pun Dictionary: L Entries

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Lady Chatterly (Tom Swifty): "I'm having an affair with my gamekeeper," said the lady chattily.
Lagoon (Geography): Pseudo-French for "the thug" is Lagoon.
Lamb (Food): "Sam the Sheep broke out of the Pen last week." "Yep, he's on the lamb now."
Lambda (Greek Letters): Give da lambda oats and it will grow up to become a sheep.
Lance Boil (Book Titles): Here's Pus In Your Eye: Lance Boyle ^JG
Language (Computers): "@#*&^!!?{! programs!" "You watch your language!"
Lansdowne (Toronto): "Hey Fred, where's Len?" "Lansdowne by the creek, fishing."
Lansing (Geography): "Len is a terrific musician." "Yes, but can Lansing?"
Laos (Geography): "Now we Laos down to sleep; we pray the Lord our souls to keep."
Lasagne (Book Titles): Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya ^JG
Last of Mohicans (Book Titles): James Fenimore Cooper: Lester Moe Hickens ^s
Lauding 'em (Jokes): Some people say my puns are sleep-inducing, but I keep laudanum anyways.
Laughing his Head Off (Jokes): What goes "Ha, ha, ha, plop"? A man laughing his head off.
Launch (Astronomy): Sign on NASA scientist's door: "Out to launch."
Lauriate (Book Titles): Nobel Prize Cannibals: Laurie Ate ^JG
Law Abider (Book Titles): Honest Citizen: Laura Byder ^A
Law and Order (Book Titles): Crackdown: Lauren Order ^JG
Lawn Mower (Book Titles): How to Cut Grass: Lon Moore ⁿ
Lawrence Welk (Book Titles): Music of the Sea: Lawrence Whelk
Lawrence (Toronto): "No, no! Lorentz studied human behavior. Lawrence wrote poetry!"
Lead (Chemistry): A chemist can be lead to water, but cannot be made to drink.
Leaf Raker (Book Titles): Nordic Groundskeepers: Leif Raker ^JG
Leafs (Hockey): The way some players behave on the ice Leafs much to be desired.
Leaking (Book Titles): The Palace Roof has a Hole: Lee King
Leaky Faucet (Book Titles): You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette ^b
Lease a Car (Book Titles): Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr ^JG
Leaves (Forestry): When a tree needs to move, it packs up its trunk and leaves.
Leeds (Geography): My Geography prof Leeds a double life.
Leg (Anatomy): At last, the runners have entered the last leg of the marathon.
Lemma (Mathematics): A sour citrus fruit: Lemma.
Lemon (Cars): Would you buy a car from the actor Jack Lemon?
Lend a Hand (Book Titles): Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand ^JG
Leon (Geography): If Macbeth had been in Spain, his final challenge would have been: "Leon Macduff! ..."
Leotard (Book Titles): Tight Situation: Leah Tard ^JG
Lepton (Physics): "The particle physicist jumped on the bandwagon?" "No, he lepton it."
Less Riches (Book Titles): Bad Investment: Les Riches ^j
Less is More (Book Titles): The Shrinking Society: Les Ismoor ^JG
Lesser of Two Evils (Expressions): Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Lethal Weapon (Book Titles): More Mindless Violence: Lee Fullweapon ^A
Lettuce (Food): Why won't you lettuce in to tell you Knock-knock jokes?
Levitation (Book Titles): Jewish Mysticism: Lev Itation ^l
Libya (Geography): "Libby wants a book." "Okay, give Libya Geography text."
Lieutenants (Book Titles): Theft Among Arthropods: The Lieutenants ^l
Light (Christmas): How can you make Santa Claus light? Stick his finger in the socket.
Light Sleeper (Jokes): Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.
Light Snack (Jokes): Why did the monster eat a light bulb? Because he needed a light snack.
Lightning (Meteorology): Knowledge of thunderstorm mechanics can often be en-lightning.
Lily Livered (Book Titles): Joys of Cowardice: Lily Livard ^JG
Lima (Geography): "Go away! Get lost! Scram! Lima alone!"
Limb (Forestry): Some people are willing to go out on a limb to conserve forests.
Lime (Food): A straight lime is the shortest distance between two points.
Linoleum (Book Titles): Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Leum
Lion Will Eat You (Book Titles): Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha ^JG
Lion (Animals): This beast cannot tell the truth because it is a lion.
Lipid (Chemistry): Organic chemists get lipid with rage.
Lips (Anatomy): Morty The Mouth's favourite song: "Tip Toe, Through the Two Lips".
Lira (Money): "Bad, bad, lira Brown, baddest man in the whole damn town..."
Lisbon (Geography): Liz opened a Portuguese bread shop, calling it the "Lisbon".
Lisp (Computers): When thomeone talkth like thith, he hath a Lisp.
Liszt (Music): What to bring to the music store: a Chopin Liszt.
Litre (Measures): Weights and measures inspectors like to play follow the litre.
Little Horse (Tom Swifty): "I want a pony!" said Tom a little hoarsely.
Little House on the Prairie (Jokes): A story about a pony on the pampas could be called "Little Horse on the Prairie".
Little_Rock (Geography): A piece of gravel is a Little Rock.
Liver (Anatomy): A person who lives can be called a liver.
Livonia (Geography): My downtown apartment is great! I Livonia few minutes from work!
Lodz (Geography): People in Poland have Lodz of problems to deal with now.
Logarithm (Mathematics): The musical beat for cut tree limbs: Logarithm.
Lois (Names): I got 6% in a Math test once. It was the Lois mark the teacher ever gave!
London (Geography): When finished a lecture, Professor Lund says "London."
Look Out (Book Titles): Danger!: Luke Out
Loose Elastic (Book Titles): Fallen Underwear: Lucy Lastic ^JG
Lornadoon (Book Titles): Scots in the Desert: Lorna Dune
Loser (Book Titles): Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr ^JG
Lot of Dust (Book Titles): Good Housekeeping: Lotta Dust
Lot of Noise (Book Titles): Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze ^JG
Lotta (Names): "I won a million bucks in the lottery!" "That's a Lotta money! Can I have some?"
Loud and Clear (Book Titles): The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear ^JG
Louisiana (Book Titles): Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana ^JG
Low (Jokes): Why are there no floods in Paris? Because the water is always l'eau.
Lowell (Astronomy): Lowell, I guess we won't be able to see Pluto tonight after all.
Lowest Denominator (Book Titles): I Love Fractions: Lois Denominator
Loyalty (Geography): Friends from the Loyalty Islands will always stand by you.
Lucan (Geography): "But can Lou survive all those Pun Tests?" "If anybody can do it, Lucan."
Lucknow (Geography): I need to throw ten sixes to win. Boy, do I need Lucknow.
Luke Has Measles (Book Titles): He's Contagious!: Lucas Measles
Lukewarm (Book Titles): Not So Hot: Luke Warm ^JG
Lung (Anatomy): Combat medic's marching song: "It's a Lung Way to Tipperary".
Luzon (Geography): The team has been defeated 18 times in a row. They're on a real Luzon streak.
Lydd (Geography): To close the jar, tighten the Lydd.
Lymph (Anatomy): Does a lame doctor walk with a lymph?
Lynx (Animals): Biologists are always hunting for the missing lynx in the evolutionary process.

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